Assult on the cheese dome

[MjolnirH]

< Out from the tree line came the line of berserker fury headed straight for the prodigious edifice. As they neared the warriors began their song of glory. >

[glow=orange,2,300]We come for battle, glory to Odin
The blood of my enemies will stain my hands
Warriors brave who fall in battle
To Valhalla they go, Valkyries fly
Crush these fools as they do cower
Meet us in battle!!! Song!!! And Glory!!! [/glow]

< The fanatics standing around the temple just stood there in awe as their doom streaked toward them. The warriors’ formation then changed to a wedge with the captain at the head. They plunged into the crowd of fanatics and not knowing what had even hit them fanatics fell by the droves. Warriors’ swords, axes, hammers, and spiked bucklers slashing, chopping, crushing, and impaling their way to the entrance. The fanatics began to run from the wedge of death. Guards in blue uniforms carrying wicked cudgels and glass steel shields blocked the entrance. The barbarians’ formation wedge slammed into the enemies line with snaps, crunches grunts, groans and screams. The young Barbarian Leader’s berserker rage was in full he laid into the enemy about him with his Thor blessed hammer the stench of charred flesh from the electricity of the hammer began to fill his nostrils and speed him on to even greater acts of carnage. The warriors broke through into the temple to find the elite guard drilling with opposing lines crashing into one another.

The elite guard then saw the deadly warriors charging them. The military leaders off to the side screaming orders as the guard scrambled to form a defense. The witchdancers began to cast their insidious spells leaping and tumbling and thrashing about whirling their deadly stringy fronds through the air as they began their chant. >

[glow=pink,2,300]go go team ra ra ra
at em team make them beg for their ma
you losers, we can’t be beat
so you might as well go home
you’ll never stand the heat
all you’ll do is whine and moan [/glow]

< Waves of nausea from the magical battle armor of the elite guard assaulted the warriors as well as group-casted symbol of hopelessness. But these are no mere men; they are barbarians from the north and were forged by the harsh elements into primordial steel. They are filled with fury and lust charging through the rolling waves of magic as if it were the wind. The young barbarian captain spied the captain of the elite guard, the evil Tterb Evraf, and with a growl the wedge streaked toward him. The two forces clashed together weapons swinging. The cheese head elite closed in around their wedge immediately and men from the rear of the circle leap as if to land and pile onto the barbarian forces. As that was happening the elite leader began to throw oblong spiked missiles into the fray, and the witchdancers tossed the entangling fronds. >

< Some of the barbarian warriors went down under the crushing pile on attacks. And many were entangled helpless within the stringy fronds. The young barbarian captain charged the captain elite who was still lobbing spiky missiles into the melee. Three guards rushed to meet the berserker attack screaming, “Blitz”. The guard in the lead came for MH with both his arms extended palms head out toward him in a pushing motion. MH quick-stepped left crouching down then leaned in and out shot his hammer slamming into the guards kneecap shattering it. Down the man went writhing on the ground calling out the word, “MEDIC!!!!” of the other two one of them charged the barbarian in a manner like the first while his fellow guard moved around to flank the barbarian. MH sprang up from his crouch heaving his hammer with all of his might into one great throw. The hammer launched toward the onrushing guard in a spinning blur smashing into the face guard of his helm crumpling it to strike at his head beneath. there was a sickening wet crunching sound as the hammer crushed the man’s skull the rest of his helm being the only thing holding it together. After throwing his hammer MH spun on the guard flanking him. The barbarian stepped forward bringing his elbow straight out and across hitting it’s mark, the guards throat, the guard gasped and sputtered for air while the Barbarian captain grabbed his foe pressed him over his head and lunged his living missile at the captain elite. The cheese head captain paused in his missile throwing and leaped for cover the flying guardsman missed him slamming into the ground his neck snapping to the side and he breathed no more. While the captain elite was recovering from his leap MH sprinted over and retrieved his hammer.

The two leaders then walked in a slow circle taking measure of one another. While behind them most of the elite guard was dead their piles having been undone and the entangling fronds ripped to shreds by berserker strength. The remaining barbarian forces, now only 29 strong, charge the dreaded witch dancers who shrieked and began to run.

Apart from the distant battle sounds within this deadly circle of two warriors only the crackling of the ones hammer hummed. The captain elite stared into the pale blue of the other eyes and saw there a raging fire of such raw animal power he was frightened, but having been a veteran of many battles he steeled himself for the ensuing melee. Quicker than his barbarian foe Tterb Evraf roosters his arm back and a dull red glowing oblong missile appears in his hand and just as fast that arm shoots forward launching the deadly missile at his foe. In that slit second attack the barbarian begins forward when the missile strikes him square in the chest. Hot binding agony assaults the young barbarian as red lightning insidiously weaves it’s way around his body, he falls to the ground writhing in agony. >

Somewhere in the distance, through the searing pain a maniacal taunting laughter reaches the ears of the young barbarian captain stirring within him a fury and instinct for survival unmatched by any save those from the north. With the fury comes the deadening of the pain to a dull ache. MH opens his eyes to see his enemy laugh at his pain, with the red lightning still writhing around him stoic man of the mighty northern tribes slowly begins to stand never taking his eyes off his foe.

The captain elite’s laughter chokes to an abrupt stop when he sees the barbarian slowly begin to stand his red lightning still eating away at the man!!!!>

What are you?

<With gritted teeth, and eyes aflame staring at his foe MH stands and begins to walk toward the Captain elite. His right hand shoots out clamping around the man’s throat and with a feral growl lifts him from the ground squeezing the life out of him>

I am Mjolnir of the Aesir and you are dead

< The captain elite felt his windpipe close and his body leave the ground, but he was entranced by the vision of his death he saw burning within such pale blue eyes. As if waking from a dream by lack of oxygen the captain elite became desperate and began to summon lighting missiles repeatedly slamming them into the unmovable barbarian crushing the life from him, spots began to swim before him. He no longer had the strength to lift his arm. The barbarian captain stared into the eyes of his foe as the man died when the last vestiges of life spark had left his enemy’s eyes he tossed the dead captain to the ground. With his death the captain elite’s red lightning faded from the injured barbarian. His rage ebbing, pain and agony assaulted him once again. The barbarian captain falls to the ground black oblivion rushing up to claim him. >

< Everywhere the melee had come to a standstill the barbarians and elite guard both transfixed by the battle of the two captains. Seeing the barbarian captain fall to the ground his skin the color of white ash with ribs, and some other bones showing where the red lightning had cooked the flesh off. The remaining barbarian force screamed the name of their captain as a war cry and lay into the elite guard who tried to flee but failed being killed to a man. The 23 barbarians left grabbed the body of their captain and his hammer sped out of the temple and ran south toward this mysterious shrine, for they knew that even as the fanatics were parting before them in fear that fear would soon turn to anger and they would give chase. Their leader hanging to life by a mere thread that the Norns could cut at any time, they could only hope that Odin in his great wisdom would heal the young captain. >

hehehe ;D

[MjolnirH]

< Walking for days, minutes, hours, the young warrior could not tell. The soft white glow of these plains never changed. The mountain seemed exactly the same distance it did when he started walking toward it. He began to scowl. >

What black foul magic is this?

< Then a voice in his head answered him, a soft feminine reassuring voice. >

[glow=teal,2,300]It is not magic young warrior. It is simply the nature of these plains. [/glow]

< The barbarian whipped his head around in all directions seeing nothing but the white plains stretching everywhere. >

Who are you and what do you mean?

[glow=teal,2,300]I am one who can help you, and I mean that the nature of the place in which your spirit now resides is a bit strange and different to what you are used to. [/glow]

< A stunned look replaced his scowl. When he next spoke it was slow and barely audible. >
My spirit now resides…am I dead?

~amused chuckle~ [glow=teal,2,300]Nay valiant warrior, your mortal body yet hangs to life by a thread. I am here at the mountain you’ve been plodding to reach. Use your will to arrive here and it will be so. [/glow]

< With that last he felt her presence leave. >

Use my will…must I think my way there

< The barbarian closed his eyes and pictured the mountain. Then he thought of himself moving closer. He felt himself pick up great speed as if he were flying, he kept his eyes closed tightly for fear that it might be just that. Keeping his thoughts centered on traveling his course to the mountain and felt himself stop. Opening his eyes slowly the barbarian saw that he was indeed in a different place now and that also he was not alone. >

< The white glow had dulled to a low gray. He saw that he was within a great lodge constructed from huge white logs braced with gold. Before him was a long marble table filled with all manner of meats, cheeses, fruits, vegetables, and pitchers of ales, meads, stouts, porters, and wines. In the middle of the wall beyond the table a huge hearth blazed with merry and welcome warmth. Leaning against the wall next the hearth is a huge two-handed silver battle-axe. Sitting in a chair by the hearth was a woman, who with his arrival had stood and walked to the table. He felt himself gasp as he looked upon her. She stood about 6’ tall wearing golden leather sandals, a kilt made of strips of bear fur. Her upper torso was bare save for a brazier of steel, which did little to cover all that was there. She looked upon the warrior with a dazzling smile from beneath luscious red lips and her bright blue eyes shined with laughter. From under a bright silver helm adorned with a silver wing on either side, cascaded long flowing blond locks down past her shoulders covering her back. >

[glow=teal,2,300]Greetings warrior! I knew you would find you way here. First let us feast, and then [/glow]

< She looks over to the polar bear rug stretched out before the fire and then back at him with a twinkle in her eye. >

perhaps we shall rest.

[MjolnirH]

< Lying together before the warmth of the hearth, their weapons close by in case of battle. Mjolnir rolls over and looks into the Valkirie’s bright blue eyes. >

If Valhalla is to battle by the side of Odin, Feast at his table, and Lie with the Valkirie, am I there?

< She reached a hand over, soft but speaking of great strength, and caressed his proud chin. >

[glow=teal,2,300]You are halfway my noble warrior. Oh your place at Odin’s table has already been prepared. Right beside me. [/glow]< She said with a smile and a wink. >

But…… < He said before she could continue. >

[glow=teal,2,300]But, the Allfather has sensed a great and powerful evil rising just south of where your men are camped. Many innocents are in grave peril. The task set before you is in no way an easy one and you don’t even have to accept. We can go straight to Valhalla from here if that is your wish. The only promise if you accept the task is that of battling evil. Oh and of course there is your prize to reclaim. [/glow]< The last she said with a wink. >

< The young warrior mulled it over in his mind and then decided that he wasn’t quite done living a mortal life. >

When I battle, I always battle for the glory of Asgard and the Allfather. Although I wish to have your name to use as my Battle cry.

[glow=teal,2,300]ooooooooooo!!! [/glow]< She squealed like a prepubescent girl. > [glow=teal,2,300]How deliciously romantic [/glow]< She cooed. >

< Starting at the tips of his ears a crimson color spread about his whole head. He growled back. >

Stop teasing woman and give me your name dammit.

< The Valkirie giggled and then purred. > [glow=teal,2,300]My name is Lyrendjorn, quite a mouthful for a battlecry eh? [/glow]

< Upon hearing her name the young barbarian perked up and smiled. >

My enemies will learn that hearing that name means their doom!! How do I get back to Midgard from here?

< With that question her face became sullen. And she heaved a great sigh. >

[glow=teal,2,300]Unfortunately that is no great task, to pass beyond the steppe of Limbo back to Midgard and your mortal coil. There is a tunnel through that door. [/glow]<She points to a large oaken door banded with gold and silver. Funny he didn’t notice it there before. > [glow=teal,2,300]At the end of the tunnel is a large cavern. In this cavern is where the portal to Midgard lies. Unfortunately guarding the portal is a minion of Surtur. You must battle his minion and defeat him to gain access to the portal. [/glow]< She looks at him pointedly to make sure she has his undivided attention, when she is satisfied that she has it she continues. > [glow=teal,2,300]You must use your wits as well as the courage of your heart and your strength to defeat this foe. Do not underestimate him. If he defeats you, you then lie beyond our grasp in the realm of the Fire Giant Lord. [/glow]

< The barbarian slowly nods his understanding, and blows out a steadying breath. >

This thing I will do for the glory of Asgard.

< She smiles brightly nodding her head. > [glow=teal,2,300]The Allfather did well to choose you. You are very brave. Now… [/glow]< She added with another twinkle in her eye. > [glow=teal,2,300]Come here and allow me to bolster your morale.[/glow]

< The Young Barbarian chuckled shaking his head. >

By the Gods woman, you have me defeated before the battle has begun.

< Then he loses himself in those bright blue eyes of hers>

[MjolnirH]

< Kneeling in his private shrine praying before his most holy altar, also known as the Heisman trophy, was Kemel Frekjar, His Most Obnoxious Cheesiness high priest of the temple. Deep in meditative prayer and under his robes the blessed cup cheese he had bathed in earlier oozing it’s way toward the floor, when the sounds of battle found it’s way to his ears. His eyes popped open at once, roostering his head to the side he listened and heard distinctive battle cries, cries calling to Odin, Thor, and Sif. He scowled menacingly. Those heathenness bastards are back. >

ELLLLAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

< Almost instantly a small-framed woman pelted into the room shaking with excitement. Ella had long brown hair with dark hazel eyes. Today she was wearing a hot pink tightly stretched tube top lined with long pink fur she was also wearing a bright lime green corduroy skirt. Kemel found his attention drawn to her navel, which she had stuffed to bursting with sharp cheddar cheese. Seeing his attention on her navel she moved closer and began to undulate her stomach muscles making the cheese seem to dance. It was quite mesmerizing and distracting. Shaking his head to clear it. >

Ella…Ella……ELLAA!!!!. Stop that!!!!!!!

< Ella blinked and then looked at him. >

Oh I beg your most humble pardon Most Obnoxious Cheesiness. Have I misunderstood is it time for me to eat the blessed Cup Che-

Never mind about that now. < He interrupted her. > What by string cheese and all the melted provolone is going on outside?

Oh it’s truly horrible your Most Obnoxious Cheesiness. Those dirty smelly heathens are back. They broke through one of the gates and attacked the Cheese Head elite guard. At the head of their berserker charge I know I saw the one who called himself Mjolnir of the Aesir. Oh!!! What shall we do?

< As the girl narrated the happenings she started to tremble and things on her started jiggling, but His Most Obnoxious Cheesiness didn’t find that near as distracting as when one of her eyes started to look about the room randomly and presumably on it’s own. He squeezed shut his eyes and cleared his thoughts to focus. >

So the heathen is back. It wasn’t enough for him to steal our most sacred possession. The great gemstone cheese wheel. He came back to cripple the elite guard.

< A cold hatred swept through the high priest. The heathens will rue this day he decided. Ella was still hopelessly blathering on when he opened his eyes. >

Enough Ella!!! Go and find Mite, tell him to bring our supply of string cheese and sacred cheese oils to the playing field. Now go.

< Ella scampered off to do his bidding and His Most Obnoxious Cheesiness went to the Field to assess the damage. >