Post by MjolnirH on Jul 15, 2005 6:44:56 GMT -5
Well I don’t know what it is about you two (and you will know who you are as you read) that inspires me to write this stuff, but I’m glad that you do cause I find myself giggle as I write.
;D happy reading
The Winter Wood was a vast untamed pine forest some said was enchanted. The truth of the matter was that it was inhabited by a large number of mischievous fairies and more importantly by two practitioners of magical art. The first lived in an unusual tower that somehow got transformed into a living entity. You see one half of the tower was a gigantic sentient tree known as a treant and the other half was a rock creature called a Galeb Duhr. The inhabitant of this odd structure was an absent-minded doddering old mage named Kalor Adune. Kalor practiced a style of magic whose effects were rather unpredictable and difficult to control. He lived in the tower with his closest and most trusted companion a small brown field mouse named Fritz. By some strange quirk of fate Fritz was actually quite brilliant, even smarter than most humans. Fritz loved to tinker with all sorts of mechanical contraptions. His latest discovery was that if you propelled a specially shaped piece of wood through the air at a high velocity that it would in fact lift itself towards the sky.
Kalor was excited today because he was getting ready to pay a visit to the forest’s other practitioner of magical art. The lovely Lady Lyanna, Witch of Winter Wood. Lady Lyanna was a witch of spellbinding beauty; most men who viewed her exquisite continence were reduced to the level of babbling idiots, permanently. Kalor though had an immunity of sorts, you see he was so absent-minded that he forgot to be stunned by her beauty and was just simply enamored with her.
Fritz was carefully chiseling away at a block of wood when everything went dark. He began to choke and sputter as a horrid stench sought to suffocate him. He quickly clawed his way out from under the moth eaten dirty robe that had landed upon him.
“Kalor! I know that I may resemble a rat, but please remember that mice are much more civilized and do not enjoy repugnant squalor as much as our bald tailed cousins do.”
Fritz was addressing a thin pair of pale knobby legs that stuck out from an enormous wicker basket filled with dirty linens and robes.
“Hmmm? What’s that old chap?” came a muffle reply from within the basket.
Fritz clenched his claws in tiny fists of frustration.”
“I SAID! KINDLY REMOVE YOUR SCABOROUS LAUNDRY FROM ATOP MY WORKBENCH!”
A silver haired head peeked over the top of the basket and looked questioningly in Fritz’s direction.
“Oh dear me, sorry about that Fritz.”
Kalor tried to extricate himself from the basket of laundry with much grunting and panting.”
“Ummm…I seem to be rather..stuck.”
Fritz heaved a heavy frustrated sigh and stomped off shaking his head and muttering to himself. He came back pushing a large block of wood with four wooden wheels. He pushed it the edge of the table. He then pulled a lever causing four iron spikes to shoot out of the bottom of the box and embed themselves into the tabletop. Pulling another lever he fired the strange crossbow that sat on top of the wooden block firing a grapple attached to a winch over the top and into the basket. He scurried up a set of cut holes in the side of the block resembling a sort of inverted ladder and began to crank the winch. The rope between the block of wood and the basket snapped taut as the mouse continued manning (or mousing I guess) the winch. The grapple grabbed hold of the basket edge and pulled the basket over toppling a pile of smelly robes and one old mage onto the floor.
Kalor Picked himself up off of the floor shedding the smelly attire piled around him and walked over to the workbench removing the offending article and tossing it with the rest onto the floor.
“Thank you Fritz. I really am sorry you know. Its just that I’ve got this starlit dinner with Lady Lyanna tonight and I haven’t anything clean to wear.”
Fritz’s nose and whiskers twitched in irritation as he straightened his round wire-rimmed spectacles.
“Maybe that is because Elfrida left your employ two weeks ago because you forgot to pay her…again.
“Did I really?” Kalor said mollified. “I was wondering where that girl had gotten off to, I mean I haven’t eaten a cooked meal in quite some time now.
Fritz’s eye bugged out in surprise and shock. “You mean that you haven’t eaten anything for two weeks!”
Kalor eyed the mouse over the rims of his own spectacles. “Tut tut, now Fritz I don’t think I’d be up and about like this if I hadn’t eaten anything. No in fact I’ve been eating my vitamin bars that I invented.”
Fritz visibly shuddered. He abhorred those nasty things. A while ago Kalor was commissioned to create, easily portable, longer lasting, and tasty iron rations for a traveling band of adventurers. Needless to say they each tried one and all ran screaming. The bars themselves had minced venison, crushed apples, powdered carrots and broccoli. Yech.
“Why don’t you just conjure yourself up some clean robes and while your at it summon up some unseen servants to do your laundry and tidy up around here.”
“quite right Fritz, the place could do with a tidy.”
Kalor pushed his volumous sleeves up to his elbows, which just slid right back down to his wrists anyway. He began to draw invisible symbols in the air while chanting the incantation of randomization.
“Inconformitus! Jellyfish! Toaster!”
And in a puff of pink smoke and several soft BAMFs there stood about twenty stuffed squeaky monkeys with pink synthetic fur who immediately began to tidy the place up and do other various chores. Fritz just stood there and stared.
“Why would I have ever thought that you were about to do something normal for a change?”
Kalor looked down at his little companion with a hurt expression. “Why Fritz, what fun would that be.”
Fritz just rolled his eyes and went back to carving his wood.
“And now for the robe.”
Fritz winced when Kalor began blowing air rapidly between his hands producing a most disgusting sound. He did this a total of three times and then began to chant. With his face still in-between his hands.
“Kinetic! Super! Earthworms!”
His grungy old robes that he’d been wearing changed to a bright yellow and not only resembled a huge banana peel it was in fact a huge banana peel with little blue moons and stars carved into it. Fritz took one look at the ridiculous attire and burst into hysterical laughter.
“Wadda…gasp…going..to..do…have her unpeel and eat you.”
This new revelation sent Fritz into new heights of laughter as he rolled around upon the desk. The suggestion however had an effect upon Kalor he got a devilish grin upon his face and began to rub his hands together maniacally
“Well that’s not a bad idea at all, not at all.”
And he left the tower on his way to his date while Fritz roll around the table in helpless laughter.
;D happy reading
The Winter Wood was a vast untamed pine forest some said was enchanted. The truth of the matter was that it was inhabited by a large number of mischievous fairies and more importantly by two practitioners of magical art. The first lived in an unusual tower that somehow got transformed into a living entity. You see one half of the tower was a gigantic sentient tree known as a treant and the other half was a rock creature called a Galeb Duhr. The inhabitant of this odd structure was an absent-minded doddering old mage named Kalor Adune. Kalor practiced a style of magic whose effects were rather unpredictable and difficult to control. He lived in the tower with his closest and most trusted companion a small brown field mouse named Fritz. By some strange quirk of fate Fritz was actually quite brilliant, even smarter than most humans. Fritz loved to tinker with all sorts of mechanical contraptions. His latest discovery was that if you propelled a specially shaped piece of wood through the air at a high velocity that it would in fact lift itself towards the sky.
Kalor was excited today because he was getting ready to pay a visit to the forest’s other practitioner of magical art. The lovely Lady Lyanna, Witch of Winter Wood. Lady Lyanna was a witch of spellbinding beauty; most men who viewed her exquisite continence were reduced to the level of babbling idiots, permanently. Kalor though had an immunity of sorts, you see he was so absent-minded that he forgot to be stunned by her beauty and was just simply enamored with her.
Fritz was carefully chiseling away at a block of wood when everything went dark. He began to choke and sputter as a horrid stench sought to suffocate him. He quickly clawed his way out from under the moth eaten dirty robe that had landed upon him.
“Kalor! I know that I may resemble a rat, but please remember that mice are much more civilized and do not enjoy repugnant squalor as much as our bald tailed cousins do.”
Fritz was addressing a thin pair of pale knobby legs that stuck out from an enormous wicker basket filled with dirty linens and robes.
“Hmmm? What’s that old chap?” came a muffle reply from within the basket.
Fritz clenched his claws in tiny fists of frustration.”
“I SAID! KINDLY REMOVE YOUR SCABOROUS LAUNDRY FROM ATOP MY WORKBENCH!”
A silver haired head peeked over the top of the basket and looked questioningly in Fritz’s direction.
“Oh dear me, sorry about that Fritz.”
Kalor tried to extricate himself from the basket of laundry with much grunting and panting.”
“Ummm…I seem to be rather..stuck.”
Fritz heaved a heavy frustrated sigh and stomped off shaking his head and muttering to himself. He came back pushing a large block of wood with four wooden wheels. He pushed it the edge of the table. He then pulled a lever causing four iron spikes to shoot out of the bottom of the box and embed themselves into the tabletop. Pulling another lever he fired the strange crossbow that sat on top of the wooden block firing a grapple attached to a winch over the top and into the basket. He scurried up a set of cut holes in the side of the block resembling a sort of inverted ladder and began to crank the winch. The rope between the block of wood and the basket snapped taut as the mouse continued manning (or mousing I guess) the winch. The grapple grabbed hold of the basket edge and pulled the basket over toppling a pile of smelly robes and one old mage onto the floor.
Kalor Picked himself up off of the floor shedding the smelly attire piled around him and walked over to the workbench removing the offending article and tossing it with the rest onto the floor.
“Thank you Fritz. I really am sorry you know. Its just that I’ve got this starlit dinner with Lady Lyanna tonight and I haven’t anything clean to wear.”
Fritz’s nose and whiskers twitched in irritation as he straightened his round wire-rimmed spectacles.
“Maybe that is because Elfrida left your employ two weeks ago because you forgot to pay her…again.
“Did I really?” Kalor said mollified. “I was wondering where that girl had gotten off to, I mean I haven’t eaten a cooked meal in quite some time now.
Fritz’s eye bugged out in surprise and shock. “You mean that you haven’t eaten anything for two weeks!”
Kalor eyed the mouse over the rims of his own spectacles. “Tut tut, now Fritz I don’t think I’d be up and about like this if I hadn’t eaten anything. No in fact I’ve been eating my vitamin bars that I invented.”
Fritz visibly shuddered. He abhorred those nasty things. A while ago Kalor was commissioned to create, easily portable, longer lasting, and tasty iron rations for a traveling band of adventurers. Needless to say they each tried one and all ran screaming. The bars themselves had minced venison, crushed apples, powdered carrots and broccoli. Yech.
“Why don’t you just conjure yourself up some clean robes and while your at it summon up some unseen servants to do your laundry and tidy up around here.”
“quite right Fritz, the place could do with a tidy.”
Kalor pushed his volumous sleeves up to his elbows, which just slid right back down to his wrists anyway. He began to draw invisible symbols in the air while chanting the incantation of randomization.
“Inconformitus! Jellyfish! Toaster!”
And in a puff of pink smoke and several soft BAMFs there stood about twenty stuffed squeaky monkeys with pink synthetic fur who immediately began to tidy the place up and do other various chores. Fritz just stood there and stared.
“Why would I have ever thought that you were about to do something normal for a change?”
Kalor looked down at his little companion with a hurt expression. “Why Fritz, what fun would that be.”
Fritz just rolled his eyes and went back to carving his wood.
“And now for the robe.”
Fritz winced when Kalor began blowing air rapidly between his hands producing a most disgusting sound. He did this a total of three times and then began to chant. With his face still in-between his hands.
“Kinetic! Super! Earthworms!”
His grungy old robes that he’d been wearing changed to a bright yellow and not only resembled a huge banana peel it was in fact a huge banana peel with little blue moons and stars carved into it. Fritz took one look at the ridiculous attire and burst into hysterical laughter.
“Wadda…gasp…going..to..do…have her unpeel and eat you.”
This new revelation sent Fritz into new heights of laughter as he rolled around upon the desk. The suggestion however had an effect upon Kalor he got a devilish grin upon his face and began to rub his hands together maniacally
“Well that’s not a bad idea at all, not at all.”
And he left the tower on his way to his date while Fritz roll around the table in helpless laughter.
#lightingzapA# #thinkerg# #lightning#